Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Trauma Positives & Negatives

What has my trauma done to me?

- caused me to feel resentment, hurt and anger towards all those who were in my life and didn't realise what was happening to me
+ made me work on my conflicting feelings with particular relationships, which then improved them

- left me unable to listen to particular songs
played songs over and over again until they became anthems of my recovery and not my trauma

- made me doubtful that I will ever have a baby
+ and consider all of the alternative ways I could have a child and know that I'd try anything because I want that in my future 

- made me afraid to be in an educational environment 
finding alternatives to classroom education and where my career dreams lay

- resulted in my veins being ABSOLUTE SHIT!
+ giving me motivation to avoid hospitalisation etc

- a lengthy medical record
+ which provided evidence that I needed to be hospitalised or I'd succeed with suicide

- two and half years of being 200miles away from home
+ giving me a greater appreciation for my Mum and a need to see her regularly

- made it difficult to trust men
+ so that I trust only those who deserve it

- given me unexplainable anger
+ I've learned how to harness the anger into something positive

- left me feeling suicidal at the thought of it
I discovered all of the reasons to be alive

- robbed me of my innocence
helping me to see both sides of the world

- made me afraid to be in an educational environment 
finding alternatives to classroom education and where my career dreams lay

- resulted in my veins being ABSOLUTE SHIT!
+ giving me motivation to avoid hospitalisation etc

- given me scars on my arms
+ that make me take more care in looking after my body

- and scars on my heart
+ giving the opportunity for new people to come into my life and mend it

- given me nightmares
made my dreams bigger

- caused me to doubt my potentials
+taught me of potentials I never knew I had

- made me experience mental health stigma
+ so that I learnt what to fight against