Today is the one year anniversary of me properly leaving hospital and moving into my 'forever home' as we fondly named it. Here's 12 points to symbolise each of the months I've spent in my wonderful home.
1. My home didn't feel like a home, nor complete until Dolly arrived 7 days after I'd moved in and I never get tired of having her toys dotted all over the house. She makes the house a home.
2. I had an 'unconscious' childhood in that I remember next to nothing so technically, I have never - in my life, felt at home. During the abuse years, I didn't feel safe anywhere and found it hard to be in the house when I was unable to tell my Mum what was happening. And then I was in and out if hospitals so often that Mum's felt like a hotel. Then I literally lived in hospital for three years. Finally, I have a home which I enjoy being in and returning to.
3. Being able to decorate it the way I want, have it look how I like and being completely responsible for everything that surrounds me, is an overwhelmingly proud feeling.
4. Being able to have people 'come to mine' never gets tired and I'm very house proud where guest are concerned. Although, Dolly's attitude towards some people does remind me that I have to live alone!
5. This is the first home that I haven't been scared of the noises during the night. Because finally, rather than my Mum reassuring me, I know they're just the noises of the house!
6. Having hiding places but no searches. In the past, this meant places to hide sharps that weren't found during searches by hospital staff but these days, it doesn't matter that I have a gazillion hiding places because I have nothing to hide and no one to hide things from! I keep myself safe now.
7. Holidays! Recently I've discovered how having a whole home means you can go crazy with decorations for various holidays. So Halloween was fun! And I'm counting down until it's socially acceptable to put my Christmas decorations up!!!
8. Dolly's first Birthday was so lovely! She means so much to me that I threw her a little tea party, decorated the house and bought her a birthday card and presents! Even everyone I met with that day had to bring a card and present!
9. Living alone means I spend lots of time in my own company and I've come to enjoy it and learn more about myself (I know that sounds stupid) because I have the opportunity to think through my thoughts and feelings, understand them better and learn the best ways of coping with each one. I have to rely on myself to get me through difficult moments.
10. There's no rules! I can do what I like with my days. I can watch what I like. Go to bed when I want.
11. Owning everything that surrounds me is the most amazing feeling. Sometimes I just sit there thinking about how surreal it all is and how happy I am with my life in general.
12. Bungalows are The Greatest!!!