Thursday, 17 November 2016

#100kwithimnotdisordered | ONE YEAR ON

When I woke up a few days ago (14th November) I saw a notification on my Facebook from the lovely Angela Slater; and it made me smile.
I smiled because she had reminded me that exactly one year ago to the date, I experienced The Greatest Night Of My Life!



A year. 52 weeks. 12 months. 365 days. 8766 hours. 525960 minutes.
All of that time has gone by, and still, that night was the greatest of my life.

Old Aimee: All of that time has gone by and I've still not experienced anything better. And I never will. If this is the best that my entire life will ever get, then I don't need to go through any more of it. *swallows pills*


Aimee Now: My feelings are right! They're normal! I've experienced so many amazing things since the party and they've all been 'The Greatest...' in their own way; but that night still holds it's title; proving that I no longer have unstable moods because I don't make such a statement when I'm feeling 'high' and then later analyse the entire night to find even the smallest of negatives, to focus on and let them become a motivation to self-harm.
And yes, so far, nothing has topped that night but anything could happen! And if I were to die in the meantime, then that chance... that possibility... that potential; would die with me.
And because of MINDFULNESS, I can remember the exact moment when I decided it was The Greatest Night Of My Life -   It was the end of the party, but I was in the middle of the dance floor with two of my best-friends, I had my arms spread out like wings - because I had floated  to the top of the world! - and I was looking up at the ceiling whilst shout-singing the lyrics to Mr Brightside (by The Killers). And I was filled with happiness, pride, love, positivity, excitement, determination, gratitude, champagne... Basically just all of the good things in life!


'Destiny is calling me, Open up my eager eyes, I'm Mr Brightside'

And when I felt all of those amazingly, indescribable, overwhelming, unforgettable feelings, I slowly turned in a circle ; looking at the empty food buffet, the half dismantled photo booth and photo background, the I'm NOT Disordered flags still on the tables, the shutters coming down on the private bar, and the faces of the few who were left in the room and had spotted us dancing, I let it all sink in through my skin and when it got to this little area in my mind, there was no room for it.


;


So I pushed some of the horrible memories and thoughts off the shelf, and made room for The Greatest Night Of My Life.
And as I said; so far there have been no greater nights, but there's also not been any horrific moments which would push my Greatest Night away. And if any were to come along...? Well, they'd have a f*#$ing hard job because between I'm NOT Disordered, and you gorgeous readers, I reckon we've got it all secure!










And just to finish off... This is how far we've all come:
It had taken THREE YEARS to reach 100,000 readers...
And now, in just this ONE YEAR since the 100k party...
We have had over...
70,000
I love you all
X